We're baaack.
After a tiny hiatus because of surgery and some personal stuff. We are together for the second half of this chaotic double episode.
How often do we truly understand the demands and challenges endured by medical professionals, especially amidst a landscape fraught with sexism and racism?
The challenges of being in a relationship with a medical professional are often overlooked. In this episode, we shed light on the heart-wrenching waiting game that partners endure for quality time, and the internal struggles of characters like Tuck, caught in the vortex of these complex dynamics. Then, we take you through an insightful discussion on the racism existing within the medical profession, embodied by RAG.
As we wrap up, we delve deep into the emotional struggles, the intricacies of friendship dynamics, and the striking narrative about Izzy defying the "Be a shark" trope. Join us as we journey through this intense episode, giving you a whole new perspective on the captivating world inside Seattle Grace.
This podcast is recorded on stolen land of the Wurundjeri people. We also acknowledge that medical practices of the traditional owners of these lands were developed and used way before the medical practices discussed in this show, they are also continued to be used today.
Contact us at
scalpelsandtequila@gmail.com
Instagram @scalpelsandtequilapodcast
Patreon/scalpelsandtequila
@missthayes and @ms_ayla_azure
We're baaack.
After a tiny hiatus because of surgery and some personal stuff. We are together for the second half of this chaotic double episode.
How often do we truly understand the demands and challenges endured by medical professionals, especially amidst a landscape fraught with sexism and racism?
The challenges of being in a relationship with a medical professional are often overlooked. In this episode, we shed light on the heart-wrenching waiting game that partners endure for quality time, and the internal struggles of characters like Tuck, caught in the vortex of these complex dynamics. Then, we take you through an insightful discussion on the racism existing within the medical profession, embodied by RAG.
As we wrap up, we delve deep into the emotional struggles, the intricacies of friendship dynamics, and the striking narrative about Izzy defying the "Be a shark" trope. Join us as we journey through this intense episode, giving you a whole new perspective on the captivating world inside Seattle Grace.
This podcast is recorded on stolen land of the Wurundjeri people. We also acknowledge that medical practices of the traditional owners of these lands were developed and used way before the medical practices discussed in this show, they are also continued to be used today.
Contact us at
scalpelsandtequila@gmail.com
Instagram @scalpelsandtequilapodcast
Patreon/scalpelsandtequila
@missthayes and @ms_ayla_azure
You look so cute in your bed with your little pillow. I feel so silly.
Speaker 2:I'm like half cocked in my little bed and I've got like support pillow. What do you?
Speaker 1:mean you're half cocked.
Speaker 2:I mean, like I'm sitting like this, I'm half up. I'm trying really hard for my stable table, not to dig into my belly button.
Speaker 1:You've made my brain dirty.
Speaker 2:You're welcome. So you blew me off for a bottle of tequila Tequila's no good for you.
Speaker 1:It's called as right. It's not really as much fun to wake up to.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, welcome to Skelples and Tequila, a Grey's Anatomy recap podcast. I'm your host, half Cocked Ayla.
Speaker 1:And today we're doing season 4, episode 10, crashing Into Me, part 2.
Speaker 2:That had nothing to do with the half cocking either Crashing into me. Tamzin just said that I've given her a dirty mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll probably keep that in, because, now that we've mentioned it, that's what's happened.
Speaker 2:Thank you everyone for your patience with us and big thank you to Tamzin for recording the last episode without me.
Speaker 1:Look, it was hard, it was rambly and I had no one to pull me back from all of my tangents. So, look, it's good that you're back and it's good that we are. I mean, is it weird that we're doing the second part of a giant episode? I don't know. Anyway, this is what we're at, this is what we're doing. Ayla's recovering, you know, cute little recovery bed.
Speaker 2:How are you feeling? I was so miffed that I didn't get to record this episode with you, because I really like this episode. I don't know if I really like it for the episode itself or if I really like just being able to pull apart all of the little things that bothered me in a real world setting, like what. Like when Meredith is in the car looking after Stan and instead of just going through the other open window she has to crawl over Ray's corpse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, purely because of camera placement and not real world things. But yeah, you're right, you could have just gone through it the other way. I did not think about that, it is all I could think of the whole time.
Speaker 2:Okay, but look, I'm pretty keen to get into this one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so let's catch up to where we are. We've got. I mean, we ended last episode with Seth Green's artery blowing all over Lexi and blood splattering across everything.
Speaker 2:It's not the way he wanted to blow all over Lexi.
Speaker 1:Oh, and she's back we have. Hi, you're welcome. We have the Nazi with his swastika lying on the table, I think by now, mm-hmm. We have our two paramedics about to come out of the ambulance who are after the ambulance crash, and we have Mary who had the seizure. Oh no, stan's really dead. Oh, stan's dead, yeah.
Speaker 2:Stan's super dead. Mary Mary is the name of the other paramedic. And we also have Dr Hahn's patient, jacob with all the children, yes, who was impaled by shrapnel, ava's still in the hospital, tucker's still in the waiting room. Shamalzel Hahn is still 100% putting Mark in his place for sexual harassment.
Speaker 1:Which is incredible.
Speaker 2:We love him, we love him Coming back into this episode. One of the first things we're going to do is we're going to talk about what we're going to do. One of the first things we see, aside from the flash forwards and the flashbacks and the monologues, is Dr Hahn and Mark having a conversation with him saying you love watching me work, and he's just like, and she just says to him if you were homely, you would have lost your job a long time ago.
Speaker 1:You think?
Speaker 2:I'm homely, homely, yeah, I don't understand what that means.
Speaker 1:I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:No, I would be considered homely in appearance. So wait she says that to Mark. She's saying that he has pretty privilege. Oh, it's way with sexual harassment.
Speaker 1:I think it's way with sexual harassment.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, it's one of the first things I say. She's basically just interested in the surgical procedure that he's doing and he makes it sexual. He says you love watching me work and she's just like. All I did was compliment your surgical skills. Nothing more, nothing less. If you were homely, you would have lost your job a long time ago. Basically, what she's saying is you're only getting away with sexually harassing people who are really really ridiculously good looking.
Speaker 1:I mean yeah, but also it's over the time.
Speaker 2:I feel like maybe it wasn't a product of the time, maybe we let them get away with it to an extent, but there were people like Han out there kicking and screaming and being labeled as difficult and prudish. They're not wanting to be sexually harassed in their ways.
Speaker 1:Yeah and not laughing.
Speaker 2:It's like grabbing a secretary on the ass was a product of its time, in the 50s. It didn't make it okay and there were definitely people who said it wasn't okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure. And if you weren't saying it wasn't okay, you either had to like just laugh it off or play along, you know.
Speaker 2:Like the girl standing in front of the car in that episode of the Simpsons. Do you come with the car? Oh you, everyone who walks past. So I completely got in the way of you reading the monologue because I was so chuffed at Han Han just completely ripping shreds through Mark.
Speaker 1:No, I think it's really important. I think that's like a bigger conversation to have. Also, the monologue is the same monologue from last week. I can read it again, though it's the start of the last episode and it doesn't end of the monologue. Doesn't happen until the end of this episode, but I'm going to read it again with an old catch up. Get back into it. We had to have a little hiatus last week, so we do need to kind of refresh everyone's memories a little bit, I think. So the monologue from this episode, from crashing to be part one and two, goes like this At the end of the day, the experience of practicing medicine bears little resemblance to the dream.
Speaker 1:We go into medicine because we want to save lives. We go into medicine because we want to do good. We go into medicine for the rush, for the high, for the ride, but what we remember at the end of most days are the losses. What we lay awake at night replaying is the pain we caused, the ills we couldn't cure, the lives we ruined or failed to save. At the end of the day, the reality is nothing like we hope. The reality is, at the end of the day, more often than not, turned inside out and upside down. Some days the whole world seems upside down and then somehow, improbably, and when you least expect it, the world lacks itself. Again, I'm terribly sorry.
Speaker 2:I've kind of just realized that I haven't really spoken much in the last two weeks and now that I'm talking I'm coughing. So please bear with the clearing of the throats and the coughings. I do hope you edit all of them out. That was all said just to you.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I was like yeah, yeah, that's fine. You've been, like you know, on drugs and in hospital and so far it's understandable.
Speaker 2:I will say, while I was in hospital I got really angry at Grey's Anatomy. Really I did. I got miffed because I found myself lying there being angry, and I'm still angry that I'm recovering, Because we spend so much time watching Grey's Anatomy and I spend a lot of time watching sci-fi and in science fiction all medicine is just done by lasers and then everyone's just up and running around. And in Grey's Anatomy people get their surgeries done, and even the ones who are watching them recover, they're just up and having a chat and they're not filthy, unwashed hair, barely clothed, none of it. And there's no mention of the fact that it's been two weeks almost and I still can't make scrambled eggs without feeling exceptionally tired. So I feel really jaded.
Speaker 1:You had a whole body part removed, though, like your body needs to recover from that. Unfortunately we don't live in the TV so late.
Speaker 2:I think I figured out why the recovery from this specific surgery is so difficult. I was talking to the head chef of the restaurant that we worked at that shall not be named and he was telling me that his wife went through this procedure two years ago and the hardest part about this was getting her to stay the fuck in bed. He said. I had to send the children away. I, for 10 days, I had to send them to stay with our grandparents. I had to constantly yell at her to stay on the couch and get back into bed. She wouldn't stop doing things and I couldn't figure out why. And I figured out why Because this doesn't hurt that bad Insane that I could be wrong, Because to me this, the pain of this surgery, feels just like my period pain did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's a so you're, yeah, you're realizing how bad it was.
Speaker 2:Well, that's where it gets tricky, because for years and years and years, I've been told oh, it's not that bad, suck it up, take a cup of nurephans. I've gone to work, I've gone to birthdays, I've gone to social occasions, I've done this damn podcast. I've lived my life with this pain and now I'm being told you need to rest and have opiates and that your pain is extreme. It's like it's a pretty big double standard. You're giving us team and it's really hard to rest and not do things, when you've been doing things with this level of pain your whole life.
Speaker 1:And so I'm mad about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's fair. I think that's so fair. Also, my belly button hurts, that's weird.
Speaker 1:Oh, chocolates, evan. Thank you, that's really pretty Brownies.
Speaker 2:Do they make wagon wheels anywhere else in the world? I don't know. Or are they in?
Speaker 1:Australia. I don't think we have an Australian thing called wagon wheels. It's way too country-western. It's a wagon wheel. I mean that's a gluten-free vegan health lab wagon wheel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's been really tricky Because we've always been told we don't deserve rest for these sort of things and now you're being forced to rest and it's just more and more of the double standards expected from women, and I'm mad about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think like good. I feel like we need to get mad about this stuff. I feel like that's the only way that things are going to change. We have to be loud Like we have to talk about it.
Speaker 2:I'm really feeling for Bailey this episode.
Speaker 1:So I'm glad you brought that up because I want to talk about this and I talked about it by myself, like last episode. I understand, yes, really feeling for Bailey. So Bailey's going through this thing with Tucker at the moment, where, well, we've seen. My point is we've seen this storyline before. We keep getting the same storyline repeated and repeated. If you aren't a surgeon, if you aren't part of this world, you will never understand the life of a surgeon and your partnership won't work. All of the partners of our surgeons, if they are not surgeons, are villainized in this show and that's what's happening to Tucker.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying Tucker doesn't deserve it in some cases because you know, as Bailey says, he volunteered to be a stay home dad, he volunteered to live this life. He knew the relationship that he was getting into. But it does bring up this idea for me of like, why are we? You need to listen to me carefully because I don't want this to come across wrong but like it is an Adele Weber situation if you take the child out of it, it's the same storyline. It's the same thing. Tucker says I don't want to wait for you anymore, I'm coming to have lunch with you and then you know he will only wait a certain amount of time and George is like she's saving a life. She's saving a life and he's like I can't wait anymore. Is there a?
Speaker 2:question why are we saying Adele, get yours, leave him. And in this situation we're going. No, no, no. Why are you being so nasty to Bailey?
Speaker 1:Yes, but I also know I know. I know why Because I thought that too. It just makes it tricky, doesn't it? Because then you go. Okay, we know why Because Tucker, you know he accepted this life and chose this life of being a stay home dad and I was kind of complaining that he's the only one that looks after the baby, which isn't fair, and Adele was looking after a grown man who isn't a baby and she was annoyed about. But I still, I still can't. I can't separate it too much in my head because I go. It's the same storyline it is, and we also kind of saw it with the vet when Meredith dated the vet. It was he doesn't understand, not in the same way, but it was like the show looks down on partners that aren't surgeons.
Speaker 2:Yes, and the show also, and is he Is? He first boyfriend, the very very start he was a gross, misogynistic, nasty dick ward.
Speaker 1:I know, but it's still. It's still a trope now of the show, but if there's a partner who isn't a surgeon, who isn't part of this world, they won't understand. For various reasons I don't disagree with that, though.
Speaker 2:Like we both worked a long time in hospitality and I remember whenever I started like seriously dating someone, I would have the chat with them, and that chat was I routinely work 50 to 60 hours a day. There are two evenings a week where I can see you, and those are Tuesday, wednesday. No, I can't take the weekend off last minute to go to your friend's birthday. I need a month's notice before doing anything. On the weekends I sleep till 11 o'clock every day. Those are the limitations of dating me realistically.
Speaker 2:But from a lot of our characters that have these long-term partners, I think it's really the waiting game, because Bailey's been married for 10 years, so potentially, let's say she's been dating him for 12 years. So she would have started dating him in med school, where she would have had a little bit more time. Same goes for Weber and Adele. And then through the internship it was like hey look, I know I'm working so much at the moment, just bear with me. Once I get past my internship, I'll have more time. Once I get through my first couple of years of residency, I'll have more time. Once I become an attending, I'll have more time.
Speaker 1:Once I become chief, I'll have more time and that's what's happening with to Bailey, because Bailey's like look, now I'm chief resident, so you have to wait a little bit longer. I've got this extra responsibility.
Speaker 2:Exactly. I think that the expectations were set incorrectly and that the goalpost keeps moving and that's why I can understand absolutely where Tuck is coming from. Not necessarily with the I'm the only one who does anything around the house bullshit, because like that is what you signed up for. But with the waiting and the feeling like you're alone and it's a one sided relationship, like that's got to suck, it's got to hurt and at the end of the day their partners are getting home exhausted and not able to have these conversations in a rational way because they don't have the mental capacity for it, because their jobs are so tough and it's a huge catch 22. It's a snake eating its own tail Like there's no good way around this and it's all.
Speaker 1:Bailey even says like I'm home between the hours of 12 and 6am.
Speaker 2:That's not a hard relationship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, especially someone, someone who isn't working. So you know they are only spending time with an infant and I know this happens to a lot of well, they are still working.
Speaker 2:It's that thing that you know.
Speaker 1:But when the partner who's?
Speaker 2:working at a, not in the home. They get home from work and they get a chance to shut off and and not have to be at work and not have to deal with all the responsibilities of their working life. But the parent who does stay at home. They never get to turn off, their job never ends. They don't get a one hour lunch break. They don't get to have knock off drinks. They don't get to come home and leave work behind.
Speaker 1:Totally and they're constantly. Just they don't have that adult interaction. They don't get as much, they don't get any conversation. If you're just with a baby, you do lose a lot of that. You know the connection with an adult. And if your partner is getting home these hours where they just need to sleep and you're probably sleeping like that, it would be so tough. I really do understand where that is coming from.
Speaker 1:And unfortunately, the thing is like he knew what he was signing up for, and I just think the way he's having this conversation with Bailey as well.
Speaker 2:I bet at the end of the day Bailey started this conversation through George.
Speaker 1:No, tucker started it at home when he said we need to talk.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when he came to the hospital to talk to Bailey.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:The way this conversation is going through George was. I'm surprised that George, at the end of the day, didn't have the same conversation with Bailey that Christina did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Absolute abuse of power really, really inappropriate, not good at all.
Speaker 1:No. He shouldn't be put in that position.
Speaker 2:Tucker shouldn't have been put in that position.
Speaker 1:It's definitely not Bailey's finest moment today. No, bailey makes a lot of missteps today and that's not a reason to. I mean, everyone makes mistakes and Bailey's really wrapped up and entangled in her own stuff today. I think she's really not able to see how her actions are affecting other people because she is so wrapped up in what's going on with her. And you know, we've all done that, we've all been there. I understand. I'm very glad Christina pulls her up on it. I think it's right that Tucker left. I think for Tucker's own mental sanity he needed to walk away from that situation in that moment. And you're right, it would have been good if George said something. It just makes me sad because I love Bailey so much. She just really didn't nail it today, did she?
Speaker 2:No, I do like that. A pretty strong theme through this episode, I've just realized, is our interns spitting truths. So one of the ones that I really enjoyed was when we're looking after Ray in the ambulance, going the hard way over the dead body. The thingy is impaling his lungs and maybe his heart, so she has to go in with this giant needle very scary and Ray's having a bit of a time with it. And then Dr Hahn, who has absolutely no conscience of other people's feelings in this moment. She's happy to stand up for herself when someone's making her uncomfortable, but she doesn't seem to notice when she's doing the same to other people. But empathy gland is not working. And she's standing at the front of this ambulance talking to Izzy, saying listing all of the ways in which Meredith could kill this person and what a difficult situation it is, and Meredith just turns around to Dr Hahn and tells her to shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2:I don't think she's gonna fuck, but yeah, and then Dr Hahn says one thing that drives me absolutely fucking insane, because she's getting paged back up to the surgery with Mark and her patient with the many children, and she says, page the cardio fellow. And I'm like, I'm sorry, you're like, who is that?
Speaker 1:There's a cardio fellow.
Speaker 2:Why have we? Not been involved with this before there could be a person who's not a fucking intern. Yeah, and if it was going to be an intern, it should be Christina in that ambulance.
Speaker 1:We have this hot point. They're not him and they're not interns, they're residents. Now, yeah, they're barely residents.
Speaker 2:The point is there could have been a cardio fellow, someone who is like a hair's breath away from being the next Dr Hahn in this hospital.
Speaker 1:And they are not in good use. Instead, we've got a good use Fighting over stuff, totally yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm done, I'm pissed. I need to know who this person is. I'm so mad about it. I'm just saying she said it. I was like you fucking what. And then Evan walks in and is like are you okay? I'm like, yeah, I'm just really mad.
Speaker 1:There's a doctor in the house. There's a doctor in the house. There's an actual doctor, like there's an adult here when.
Speaker 2:Why has no one gotten this adult? So does that mean that there's fellows for all of the different surgeries? What all Bailey had to do was call the general fellow. She could have called Sydney.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sydney's very underutilized. Honestly, what is she doing? Where is she? She's just waiting at the bar for Derek to come back. It's her day off, it's fine.
Speaker 2:She is not waiting for Derek. That bitch knows that she is worth more than his soppy bullshit, I know. Actually, speaking of his soppy bullshit, can we please talk about the fact that he does nothing in this episode aside from neg demean and disrespect and diminish. He does all the D words to Rose and she wants the day, and I'm mad about it.
Speaker 1:So Rose another one that has snuck up on me because, again, I never really liked Rose, didn't really think about Rose. Rose was always just the person that was getting in the way of Meredith and Derek for me. And now I'm watching Rose and I'm like I want to be your best friend. Can we be friends?
Speaker 2:I just they're doing the craniotomy on Mary, our driver, who had a seizure, and it's a computer guided craniotomy to get in and get this tumor up. Computer dies and instead of the PA system screaming, is there a doctor in the house? We scream. Is there a tech nerd in the house? I don't know what they call it.
Speaker 1:It kind of does matter. But all of a sudden we hear that Rose actually is a bit of a tech nerd. Rose knows how to fix a computer. Even though, I'm sorry, she went to a party school, as Derek says.
Speaker 2:She's like I've done three years in computer science.
Speaker 1:And Derek's like well where.
Speaker 2:No, before that, he says I would feel more confident about this if your voice wasn't shaking. And every woman suddenly remembers the fact that when we get angry, we sometimes cry and we hate that being exhibited because people assume that we're being quote unquote emotional because men have fooled the world into thinking anger isn't an emotion Totally and this is the same and also like I'm sorry. My voice shakes when I'm nervous. I'm an imperfect person, but that doesn't mean that I can't do this.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And instead of being like oh, you're the only computer scientist in the room, great, please try. Thank you so much for offering your time. Thanks, Well, what school did you go to? It's the equivalent of oh, you're wearing a band T-shirt, name, eight songs and the guitarist's wife's first child's name.
Speaker 1:Derek's saying that, well, that's just a, it's the party school thing. For me it's like, well, that's just a party school. It's like saying to someone like, oh, you didn't go to a private school, you went to a public school. You couldn't possibly understand math. You couldn't possibly understand the math. It's so fuck, it's so ridiculous to Anyway it made me sad.
Speaker 2:It keeps getting worse, though, because he literally does a survey of the room. Yeah, I'm like why do you keep diminishing this woman's credentials and her abilities?
Speaker 1:Because she's a woman and she's hot.
Speaker 2:It is not. This whole scene is so fucking gross. And then him mocking her because she didn't press the restart button. It's like yeah, okay, Like sure. I just don't understand with the character that Rose has been set up as, who was strong, who was willing to call Derek out on his bullshit by the end of this episode, is kissing him, why she's kissing him when he's effectively been pulling her pigtails and calling her stupid and mansplaining to her. It makes no sense.
Speaker 1:Well that's. But you just hit the nail on the head. You just met like that's exactly it, because he's been pulling her pigtail. That's what we were taught. You've just said it. We've taught, we're taught that if they're mean to you, they like you. If they're mean to you, if he's patronizing her, he's picking at her, he's like making little jokes at her expense. This entire time he's getting this whole room on side to be like look at this silly little girl playing with things she doesn't understand, Patching little bunnies.
Speaker 2:My God, you're making me so angry.
Speaker 1:She's been taught to be like. Oh, he likes me. Oh, he's making me feel a bit shit. He's giving me attention I'm going to play in like and also this thing of her. I love that she has the courage to say my voice shakes when I'm nervous. I'm an imperfect person. It takes a lot to say that to someone, especially to say that to someone who is patronizing you so hard and who is making you feel small To be like. Yeah, actually I do feel small in this moment, but I still believe in myself, just because my body is showing signs that I'm nervous, I'm fearful, I'm in flight of flight. I'm accepting the fact that I know that, but I also believe in my. I have the courage of my convictions and I know what I know. Yeah, I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1:That's amazing, yeah, like my body's response. I can't control, but I know what I'm doing. I have the knowledge to be in this situation. It's very Arizona.
Speaker 2:speaking to a person in a position of power vibes yeah.
Speaker 1:And that is the only spoiler I'm going to give away. It's exactly that. Oh, come on, arizona, I miss her.
Speaker 2:I just yeah, I was really annoyed at that whole thing, the entire interaction, him disqualifying her abilities from the get-go, and then they make out where he's basically just munching on her upper lip the whole time.
Speaker 1:It's weird, I just. I also just want to say Rose is consistently so honest with how she's feeling and she, amazingly. What I really love is that she never apologizes how she's feeling. No, she doesn't ramble, she doesn't keep talking If I'm nervous or something so rambly I can't speak very directly or succinctly, but she can. Even when she's shaky and flustered. She is still so succinct and I think it comes from an unapologetic way of feeling, about her feeling. Yeah, was she a woman who was raised not being told to be embarrassed by her emotions.
Speaker 1:Maybe Because even I think she says like I don't have steady hands and when you talk to me they get less steady. It's just like that's a matter of fact thing. That's part of how I'm feeling right now, but she's not apologizing for it.
Speaker 2:No, it's amazing. It's amazing. I no, yeah, it's incredible. Yeah, I have a lot of respect for this character and I really wish we had more of it, I feel like 90% of my interactions with other women is telling them to stop apologizing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like Rose would be like. Rose would be like that.
Speaker 2:I still apologize constantly, but I'm constantly telling the other women in my life to stop apologizing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I feel like I'm apologizing all the time as well, even like I don't know. I've been like in. I've been having like a hard time lately. So when I talk to friends about it, talk to people about it, I get really rambly or I send too many messages or I overshare and I'm constantly like I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I just told you all that I don't. I'm sorry, I don't Like.
Speaker 2:And then I tell you to stop apologizing. Yeah, I'm very excited for the new generation of women who are being brought up told to not apologize for themselves, simply existing. I'm really happy for them. I think that's going to be great.
Speaker 1:I think we could all use a little bit of Rose in our lives. I mean, that's such a Like I almost want to use her as my. That's how I want to be. I can't control my emotion. I can't control my bodily responses, but I can control apologizing for them and moving through them and just accepting them. And maybe if I accepted them more, I would be more succinct and I could get my what I really need to say out a lot clearer.
Speaker 2:I will say that I stood my ground when it came to the menopausal emotions that I was having, and they taught me not to apologize but simply explain. And when I would have these big emotions, I would say, hey, letting you know that this reaction is not genuine. It's not how I'm feeling towards this situation. It is a result of a medication yeah, and that separated me from them, which I really liked. Yeah, that's really helpful.
Speaker 2:And like being honest with my colleagues about ADHD as well, like they'll say something to me and I'm like I understand that you are joking, but part of ADHD is having rejection, sensitivity, dysphoria, which basically means if I feel rejected, it makes me feel it significantly more deeper and stronger than you would. And even though I do understand that what you're saying is a joke, it doesn't change the fact that my brain chemistry is going they hate you, they don't want you to be around, you're a horrible person and you're making everyone feel worse. So please be more considerate when you are making those kind of jokes. Yeah, great Works like a fucking charm. Yeah, give it a go.
Speaker 1:All right, be more rose. That's my little mantra for now. Be more rose.
Speaker 2:So after we get this little oh wait, sorry, we're on a tangent of people standing up for themselves. We are, yeah, george. George stands up for himself and what he believes in, I've got to give.
Speaker 1:George. Some props this episode. It shocks me every time we have to do this, because I assume we're just going to go on hating George forever. Most of the time we do, but then every now and again he surprises us Mm-hmm, and today is one of those days.
Speaker 2:Yeah, bailey, george has just come back in and told Bailey that Tuck is left and Bailey wants to know whether or not this incision looks straight, because if it's jagged they're going to have to sew him up a little bit differently.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so potentially there's Bostick air will just look like a weird black something else.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, but our racist ambulance driver is in recovery and George is checking on his rather aggressive staples and they have a little chat about belief systems.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which I'm it's. I love this thing. I love this thing Because last episode, the fact that no one brings up that what's his name, what's not. No, it doesn't matter that the racist name is racist ambulance guy, so racist name.
Speaker 2:He doesn't deserve a name. Right the fact that last oh my God, they can call him rag.
Speaker 1:No one brings up that rag. Partner is a woman of color, it's roomy. So I'm glad that it comes up this episode, because the whole time I'm like how Okay, from watching station First responders. You need so much trust and love and care with the person that you work alongside. In those situations you need to trust them almost more than you trust yourself, and this racist ambulance guy does not fucking trust anyone who isn't white, not only does not trust them, he doesn't, he, he, he doesn't see them as human, basically, and it's fucking horrific. But he's partner that he works alongside. I just it was. It's very hard to wrap your brain around. So I'm just, I'm just glad that this comes up. I dated Rag.
Speaker 2:Wow, yeah, whoa, whoa. Thank you. Thank you Tinder, thank you Tinder how how?
Speaker 1:how did you even deal with that? Oh, you just didn't know for a little while. I hide it because with Tinder.
Speaker 2:Your first date with a person is you meeting them and you getting to know them. So it often takes you a couple of weeks to decide whether or not you actually like this person Right? So I've been dating this guy for like six, maybe eight weeks. We're out at a bar and I mentioned that one of my best friends was getting married and she's Chinese and she was marrying an Anglo-Saxon Australian guy. And he goes oh that's, he had a problem with it and I was like what's, what's your beef? And he basically told me that he was a white nationalist and I went I'm sorry, so you're a Nazi. He's like no, no, no, I don't.
Speaker 2:I don't think there's anything wrong with black people, chinese people, brown people, anything. I don't think there's anything wrong with any of those people. They're nice enough people. That's fine. I just don't think we should mix breed. So I went oh okay, that's interesting, I need a pee, went up to the bar and said to the bartender I'm dating a racist, can I have a shot? And I need to go. She gave me a shot on my left, but Rag is the same guy. He doesn't seem to have a problem with people of another race and it's like he said she's a nice girl, I trust her. We save lives together.
Speaker 2:I would have a problem with her marrying my brother, and no because he has a doctor's note that he that's the part that I don't understand in this, because he says that he enjoys her as a partner and that they like spending time together and they save lives together. How come he trusts her ability to save lives but he doesn't trust Bailey's? And that's where this whole conversation got a little bit All.
Speaker 1:Weber, all, christina, correct yeah.
Speaker 2:That's where I got a little bit sort of skew. If because I did was very vehement that he was like I don't dislike any of these people, I don't think bad people, I just think that mixed breeding is not okay and I was like that's pretty fucked, dude.
Speaker 1:Well, no, but it proves the point. What it proves? That the racism, it doesn't hold water. It doesn't make sense. He can't say I don't have a problem with them and then, on the other hand, feel like but this is the problem with them. Like it doesn't hold water. It doesn't. That's why race it's like, that's why racism is fucked. There's so many races.
Speaker 2:There's so many.
Speaker 1:It doesn't make any sense, like the arguments don't even make sense and that this guy, he doesn't, he doesn't make sense.
Speaker 2:And that's why I don't understand why this conversation was at all justified, like why I don't care, I don't need your reasons and I do, like that. That's basically what George says to him. Yeah, he says I just want to let you know that if I was alone in that, you would be dead. And since we're sharing belief systems, I believe that if you were dead, the world would be a better place. Love it.
Speaker 1:I love it. I love that the show wrote that in. I love that George is saying that I think it's important that Bailey had this storyline where she didn't and she says like I'm not him, I'm not going down to level, I'm riding above. George is the one that you know as the white person gets to fight it. Fight that battle is not quite right, but basically take the emotional labor off Bailey and gets to say all this stuff you know yeah, like just making a point to him.
Speaker 2:It's like we are not kin yeah exactly we're going to see an in camaraderie ship with you.
Speaker 1:So the other person that sticks up themselves, this episode as well, is Christina, again the Bailey, and good on it. Yep, it's a tricky one. It's a tricky one for us to talk about, but that, what Christina says, is what you did pulling me off hand surgery was an abuse of power. You know you needed help, okay, but you use me because of the color of my skin. I mean, you compromised my education because of my color and I rejected, yeah, yep, fair enough, because that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 2:George should be having the same conversation, not because of the well, actually, yeah, because of the color of his skin. The only reason that George was dragged into that surgery was because he was a white guy. But also he got taken off someone else's service to babysit it just simply to be a body in that room, and then was forced to relay messages in a marital spat. Yeah, bad day, bailey. Bad day Bailey.
Speaker 1:Bad day Bailey. Bailey is just, but then you also can't. Yes, bad day, bailey, but also like what? The turmoil and the frustration and the sadness and everything that would have been going on inside Bailey's head today, like Bailey's having a bad time, you know, and unfortunately, work and you shouldn't be at work Totally, but this dude is also going and be making you feel like shit.
Speaker 1:She's got a patient, yeah, judging her ability because of the color of her skin and who she is and we know that she has been fighting that battle and also for being a woman, and a black woman, her entire career, her entire life. And not only is she battling being a woman of color and a surgeon, you know, with this patient today, but she's also battling that in her home life she's also just been given a higher position of power in the hospital as chief resident.
Speaker 2:It's like I feel like she's trying to prove her worth in so many places today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I understand her needing some camaraderie and needing an ally in this situation. I understand her feeling the need for Christina and someone else to share the burden of this, but it's just she just unfortunately went about it so wrong. Yeah, and I don't, and I don't. But I also don't know. I don't know how else, I don't know how else this I don't know how she could have. I don't know how she could have. How would we have done this differently? I don't know.
Speaker 1:No, it's the team that because the problem is he came in Bailey needs an intern or a resident, she has to ask someone to come on this case with her, maybe just an intern. But it's like I don't know. I don't know how, I don't know how.
Speaker 2:The path of least resistance would have been assigning the case to a doctor that may damn feel comfortable, but that totally ramifications of that would have been letting the shitty racist man win Totally. Unfortunately, and at the end of the day, I think, when it comes to this specific situation, neither of us can really talk to it. No, no, not at all, not at all. What we can talk about is Ava being put in a fucking place.
Speaker 1:Fucking Ava Honestly, like every time she comes back. I just don't want her here. Can she go home, please, please go home, please leave.
Speaker 2:And Alex has had a day. He's been in surgery on the man with a thousand children all day. An artery burst. It's his fault, he had to save the day, everything. It's just been fucking tough.
Speaker 1:It's chaos today in the hospital. It's absolute chaos, absolutely. The artery bursting is so hectic. We've got no OR rooms available. We've got this lovely Seth Green, charming lovely Seth Green, dying, completely bleeding out. We've got them running with him in the bed through all these different ORs. There's so much going on today.
Speaker 2:He needs Han, he needs Mark, who are both in surgery, with Alex on the man with a thousand children, with Callie as well.
Speaker 1:Ava just fucking there, just hanging out, just there Watching Seth just go away.
Speaker 2:Can you imagine the tension in Alex's lower abdomen seeing Lexi and Ava sitting up there and then just being absolutely called out by Mark saying that's my face, why is my face there?
Speaker 1:I love the way he says that it's so brutal. It's so brutal to diminish this whole person just to a surgical procedure, to a face To a face. But I also understand it and it's very Mark and it just works really well for this moment.
Speaker 2:But he gets home with Ava and they're in the bedroom and he's trying to initiate a sex with her and she's doing the we need to talk thing and it's exactly the same vibe as when they were in the on call room and she's like we need to talk, tell me about your feelings, tell me about your emotions. And he's like Rebecca, fuck off, you are playing dress ups. You are here, you have a husband and you have a baby and a girl that you was staying up there with. I'm sleeping with her. You got me a week long suspension. You need to ask yourself what you're doing here. Be honest with yourself. You are not here to talk and he's so right.
Speaker 1:He's so right, but I no. No, but he's so right. Ava disappears to Seattle. Well, rebecca disappears to Seattle, calls herself Ava, plays a fantasy game with this hospital, ava. She plays a full fantasy game. She's probably back when she's being Rebecca in her actual life. She's, you know, kissing Alex, dressed in scrubs, every day. In her head she's making up this whole story that he's not a part of. So she runs away to get a little fantasy bit and it's not fair for Alex.
Speaker 2:It's not fair for her to demand his emotional energy Totally.
Speaker 1:Like this.
Speaker 2:Because she's not going to be you can't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, Because she's not in it Because of the long haul. I mean she kind of wants to be, but she's also not going to be.
Speaker 2:No, like, at the end of the day, we understand that. She said Alex, give me a reason to stay. Ava, if you wanted to stay for Alex and, more importantly, for yourself, you would have. But you chose, you made a choice. She made a choice, yeah, and now she has to lie in that sexless, loving, comfortable bed Because she chose comfort.
Speaker 2:It annoys me that Alex kisses her, though Alex wants you to lay it's the same thing he said to Lexi is like if you want feelings and if you want emotions, I'm not your guy. If you want to get laid, I am your guy, true, true.
Speaker 1:He's being very honest and upfront about it. It's not like he's pretending he's anything else. No.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and he's just asking Rebecca to do the same.
Speaker 1:Yeah, correct, okay, that's true.
Speaker 2:So this doesn't really spit any truths this episode. Well. Well, I suppose we did get some very quick offhanded closure about their relationship. But to be honest, the second I saw that it was Izzy being mopey and George coming in to soothe her. I switched off.
Speaker 1:Izzy's having I mean Izzy's having a bit of a realization, I think this episode about what makes her a good doctor, Because she's pretty broken really at the moment. She's pretty broken she we've talked about this before but her need for friendship and community is so like she really really needs that and she's just not feeling it at the moment. And she lost George as her best friend and today she was really trying to be there for her patient. And the way that she is a good doctor is that she can connect. She knows what her patients need on a human level as well as the medicine level, and she always kind of puts the human needs above, above anything else and that's what makes her a good doctor. But today she was working with Han and she works so differently to Han and Christina and Han said don't update the family, don't talk to nobody, need to have other substitutes. It's more important. And because Izzy listened to Han and went against her own judgment, the family got really angry at her.
Speaker 2:They were, they felt like she'd abandoned them and I'm saying something pretty fucking earth shattering to her, doesn't she? She says something on the lines of do you want to be a surgeon or a social worker? Because one takes 12 years and one takes four.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's exactly it. And it's kind of shattering to Izzy and her beliefs about how she's a doctor and how where her strengths lie, because she's basically told by Han that her, her particular brand of surgeon, isn't worth anything. You know, she's told by Han that the only way to be a good doctor is like Han and Christina.
Speaker 2:And I think I think Izzy was starting to feel some sort of camaraderie with Han and was Han was kind of the first attending. That's really chosen. Yeah, izzy. Yeah, I agree, no one. Well, mark did, but only to have something pretty to look at and we're not going to go there because it was fucking gross. Yeah, and especially since this morning we had Christina and Meredith dancing it out and she felt really alienated and left alone. So, yeah, hearing things like that from the first person in this hospital that seems to have genuinely taken an interest in her must have been exceptionally hard.
Speaker 1:Definitely so. I think her then, trying to be like Han and trying to be like Christina and having the patient's turn on her, gets to the point where the family of her patient says like we don't want you on this case anymore because you promised us you'd update us. You promised us you'd be there for us and he weren't. And then she even you know she gets taken off the case and that's really heartbreaking to her.
Speaker 1:So we do get this moment with Izzy and George where we get this mini chat about their relationship and Izzy is so broken and she says I'm never going to be them, I am not Kika, which is, you know, such a line that we hear repeated and repeated in this show. You know, kind of like, if you want to be a shark, be a shark. Be a shark, be a Kika, be a Kika surgeon, be cold, basically. And Izzy's like it's just not, I'm not them, I'm never going to be them. And in this same moment of realization, izzy says and we're not going to make, we aren't going to make this work, this isn't going to work. And George weirdly and I have this in big, bold letters says marriage is hard, it's like you two aren't married.
Speaker 2:Calm down, I know, I guess it's because you've been really failing your marriage all day and it's like George come on who sent marriage to.
Speaker 1:George, is this saying, marriage is hard?
Speaker 2:Even the good ones. It's like yeah, yeah, I thought it was a bit of a stretch as well. I'm like y'all have just started dating and you still can't have sex right, so Totally.
Speaker 1:Totally. And then, george, they say, one of them says something like well, it's not our chemistry. Our chemistry is good. I'm watching it being like it's not though.
Speaker 2:Your sexual chemistry isn't good, your maybe emotional chemistry is Exactly yeah, and they're just giving it up. Maybe they're doing the if we're 40 and unmarried, we'll give it another go. Yeah, do you remember in like high school and primary school, you made that pact with someone.
Speaker 1:I remember seeing it in movies, yeah, but I never made one, never had that joke. No, I remember it being a thing in like movies, definitely Like oh, when we get to whatever age, we'll marry each other.
Speaker 2:Oh well, listeners, please. Are you at that age where you made that pact, and what is that person doing now?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're getting back together. So our wrap ups. Today, unfortunately, seth Green dies. He doesn't make it and that's a really hard loss on like see, this is we talk about, like all of these surgeons, all the time.
Speaker 2:I feel like calling it going through was the right way to do it. Yeah, definitely Everyone goes through their first hard loss and I think this is Lexi's first big loss of a patient and I think we're all unanimously pretty worried about the fact that the person who has to console her through that first loss was Christina, but I think Christina did a pretty good job.
Speaker 1:Christina's amazing. Christina comes to talk to Lexi, who is crying, and she says you did a good job, it was brave, and coming from Christina, that is massive. And then Lexi comes out with something and she says we killed him, the hospital, sloan, we were not prepared, we killed him. And she says do you have any idea how backwards that is? And Christina says we helped more than we hurt. And then we get a huge, a huge, brave admission from Lexi when she says I have no one, which is so. I just I think it's really massive, alexi, to say that to her, to Christina, to someone who's so, you could easily someone who disregards any sort of vulnerability.
Speaker 1:Totally, and who you would have on such a pedestal. If you're an intern, you would see her being, you know so amazing having no. Like you would never think she would have any time for an intern, especially she calls her interns by number.
Speaker 2:She doesn't even know their names. Oh yeah, the one that's working with Derek. He's like oh, I'm number two, wait Scott.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she, she reaches out to Christina.
Speaker 2:She says I have no one, which incredibly leads to Christina bringing Lexi home to their house, where Meredith is and Meredith's had a bit of an afternoon because she gets pulled up by our dead ambulance driver's wife and has a conversation with her about doing the hard thing because it's better to have someone, even if it's the most painful thing you have to do. It's better to have someone in your life. It's better to have someone in your life. And seeing this entire race stand situation unfold, she builds up the courage to go to Derek and say I don't want you to date other people. I still have fear and that means something. So I don't want you to date other people. And she'll find out tomorrow how that's gonna pan out. But tonight she needs to drink, so she invites Christina around who brings Tequila and to sister.
Speaker 1:Lexi, yeah, and they dance it out. And then Izzy and George join in, which is really nice. And we have another moment of unlikely friendships happening at Jo's bar, when Mark and Kelly they've both had a crappy day Han comes in and Han asks if they can all drink together.
Speaker 2:And she says you won't hit on me. I can't promise that If I say, please will you not hit on me? And Kelly's just like he still can't promise that, and my question is why the fuck not?
Speaker 1:I mean, I also think like, at least he's honest, I respect it.
Speaker 2:I don't, I don't. It's now sexual harassment. It's fucked. Bitch needs a drink, so they go on for a beverage. Yeah, so do.
Speaker 1:I, this bitch needs a drink, and that's kind of where we're at. That's where we're at. Ben Crashing to me, part one and two all done, Big, great, great episodes. I also wanna do a little bit of a shout out. There's a Australian singer, singer-songwriter in oh, I think it was the first one. There's a song by Missy Higgins in the first part of this episode and she is Melbourne Gal. She got me through high school and I just wanted to. It's cool to hear her in this. Anyway, that's all Bit rambly.
Speaker 2:Thank you all so much for listening and thank you all so much for giving us the time that we both needed for a little bit of rest and recovery. We really appreciate all of you, for you know, not hating us, not unsubscribing.
Speaker 1:Totally and we're back. We'll have you know we needed a minute, but we are good to go. Thank you so much for being with us. There's still chats happening over on our Discord, so come and join us there, and the Instagram is all of the fun stuff happened there as well. We're around. You know Art Scalf was in Tequila. Come find us and we'll be back in your ears next week.
Speaker 2:Talk to you all soon. Bye-bye, Bye Wee.
Speaker 1:Ba ba fa China Sing it Ba ba fa. China, ba ba China.