S4E14 The Becoming

We are all a little caught up in our own fears and minds this week. Merideth can't look past the end of her own nose - or Derek's Tongue. Christina is again destroyed by Bourke, even if he is miles away he can still ruin her day.

We finally discover he HR department! They are accompanied by Adelle who is here to help the Nurses Boycott Mark Sloan. Turns out the best way to combat sexual harassment is with MORE sexual harassment!

We discuss homophobia in the Military and in our Hospital while Cali is still struggling to come to terms with her queerness. We are also reminded of what a hard time Covid was with our heart patient in a bubble

Lots of love,

Tamzen and Ayla
xxx

Greys Anatomy Credits
Created by Shonda Rhimes
Starring :
Ellen Pompeo - Meredith Grey
Sandra Oh - Christina Yang
T. R. Knight - George O'Malley
Justin Chambers - Alex Karev
Katherine Heigl - Izzie Stevens
Chandra Wilson - Miranda Bailey
James Pickens Jr - Richard Webber
Patrick Dempsy - Derek ( McDreamy ) Shepard
Kate Walsh - Addison Shepard
Chyler Leigh  - Lexi Grey
Sara Ramirez - Callie Torres 
Mark Sloan - Eric Dane

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

So you blew me off for a bottle of tequila. Tequila's no good for you Is it called as right.

Speaker 2: 0:09

It's not nearly as much fun to wake up to.

Speaker 1: 0:12

Hi everyone, welcome to Skaples and Tequila, a Grey's Anatomy recap podcast. I'm Ayla.

Speaker 2: 0:19

And I'm Tamzin, and today we are doing season four, episode 14, the Becoming what a terrible surname. It's just a boring episode title really.

Speaker 1: 0:35

Yeah, it's not great, especially since this episode is about coming, and coming is probably one of the most exciting things you can do.

Speaker 2: 0:42

What? No, it's not. It's about reality versus imagination. I thought it was about sex. It's about kissing. It's about sex. Fine, it's also about sex.

Speaker 1: 1:00

And when does sex finish?

Speaker 2: 1:05

With the Becoming.

Speaker 1: 1:07

Ha ha. See, we got there in the end. Thank you very much. This episode was a bit of fun.

Speaker 2: 1:18

I really like it.

Speaker 1: 1:21

It's one of those episodes where you're like, oh, it's a bit of nothing episode, but also there are huge moments in it that I have remembered for my whole life.

Speaker 2: 1:30

Same, I actually think the whole speech.

Speaker 1: 1:33

Yeah, Cotton, Darren, Ugh ugh. Just every time I saw them I was crying.

Speaker 2: 1:40

It's really hard to pick a favorite moment or a favorite line.

Speaker 1: 1:46

But it's Christina singing in the morgue.

Speaker 2: 1:52

The Lacka Virgin song. Yes, I mean, it's so good and it's just, it's so beautiful and so bizarre.

Speaker 1: 2:08

It's one of those episodes where you don't pinpoint this as like a huge cataclysmic episode. It's not one. People are like, oh, do you remember the Christina singing in the morgue episode? No, I don't, but there are so many memorable moments in this episode and Christina singing is definitely one of the most obscure.

Speaker 2: 2:35

It's one of those episodes where all of the characters are really going through it emotionally but in their heads like in their own bubbles. It's not like it's an emotional episode because there's been a huge crash or a huge accident or someone's died. It's an emotional episode because they're all just in their head, really working through some tough feelings and I think that's why the therapist scenes are so involved. This episode because everyone is. I mean, that's the theme of this episode. It's like what is the reality? Stop going over and over and over this thing in your mind. Get to what's real.

Speaker 1: 3:16

Oh, I'm not capable of doing that. I have the ADHD.

Speaker 2: 3:19

Oh, I just so much of this, like really hits home with me this whole episode.

Speaker 1: 3:27

Well, give us the monologue so we can start dissecting.

Speaker 2: 3:32

Oh, sure thing there's this person in my head. She's brilliant, capable. She can do chest tubes and craniotomies. She can run a code without freaking out. She's a really good surgeon, maybe even a great surgeon. She's me only so much better. It was a good day, maybe even a great day. I was a good doctor, even when it was hard. I was the me in my head. There was a moment when I thought I can't do this. I can't do this alone. I close my eyes and imagine myself doing it, and I did. I blocked out the fear and I did it. What I think is interesting about this monologue is that it is she says I. It's from her perspective and I know it's always from Meredith's perspective, but it's usually more of a narration.

Speaker 2: 4:22

A bit more, yeah, of a narration. It's normally a bit more outside of her own body, like outside, like of the world.

Speaker 1: 4:32

It's Meredith Gray's voice, it's Ellen Pompeo's voice, so we recognize it. But it's not necessarily Meredith Gray, because this is very much her the eye.

Speaker 2: 4:46

It's so eye, eye me, me, me so focused on her and I just think it's. Yeah, we don't get that a lot with these monologues, but I really do think that this is a really interesting, interesting theme, because this idea of reality versus fantasy is well, we all feel this, we all go through this. Everyone has a moment in their time when they can't stop thinking about something, or they turn over something again and again in their mind and they stress about something without having the real conversation or without figuring out the cause of the problem or the root of the problem, and maybe you've imagined that someone's angry at you or an argument, or you've totally created something in your mind that isn't real.

Speaker 1: 5:45

It's like what we said last week about sometimes these things that are in your head and you go over and over and over them like Bailey in the scrub room she can't say it because then it becomes real. But I think that we forget sometimes that those negative and difficult thoughts that are going through our heads aren't real.

Speaker 2: 6:06

I think it's so easy to forget that it's so easy.

Speaker 1: 6:13

I forget it every day, all day.

Speaker 2: 6:18

It's so easy to get wrapped up in your mind and in these kind of negative thought cycles or unrealistic thought cycles. And I really love the therapy and the therapist being so present, this episode because this idea of what does she say? She says like what's the truth or what's the reality, what's the reality of the situation? Because we open and we learn pretty quickly that it's the fifth patient in the clinical trial today and Meredith is in therapy and she wants to be thinking about the clinical trial but all she can think about is kissing Derek.

Speaker 1: 7:00

No, specifically, all she can think about is Derek's tongue. I knew.

Speaker 2: 7:06

And that just makes me say that oh uncomfortable Just the tongue.

Speaker 1: 7:15

I can think of way more exciting memories of what tongues can do. Oh wow, you're going there, but it doesn't tend to revolve around kissing.

Speaker 2: 7:29

Well, ayla Ayla, ayla Ayla.

Speaker 1: 7:34

I'm not kissing a mouth. I suppose If I'm in a daydream about a tongue, I'm in a daydream about it doing something much different Ayla, we're talking about kissing.

Speaker 2: 7:46

I'm sorry.

Speaker 1: 7:48

You can kiss places that aren't mouths.

Speaker 2: 7:52

Well, yes, but all Meredith can think about is kissing Derek, and she cannot stop thinking about it. And the therapist is saying what is the actual reality, though, meredith, what is the reality? And the reality is he's with Rose, so the kissing can't happen. I mean not that that stopped anyone in this show before, but-.

Speaker 1: 8:17

Can I just ask you did you mean to put on your audible reading a filthy novel voice while you were describing Meredith dreaming about kissing?

Speaker 2: 8:34

No, I did not. I enjoyed it either way. I feel like I've been sprung, been caught out.

Speaker 1: 8:45

She says that reality is powerful stuff. I do like that the reality sets in for our therapist, where she just slams her books down and just stops with all the pre-dense and is like right, I'm giving this to you now. Your insurance only covers 20 sessions, which, like, that's some good insurance.

Speaker 2: 9:10

That's a lot of sessions. That's amazing.

Speaker 1: 9:12

But she basically just tells Meredith that everything Meredith is saying is a load of bullshit. You didn't have a good day. These mantras aren't working for you. You had a patient that tragically dies alone while the love of their life sits in the next room. Why, why do you idolize this? Why do you want to be that guy? Obviously, Meredith hasn't been very honest to the therapist and the therapist doesn't know that Meredith is walking away from a terrible man who treated her awfully.

Speaker 2: 9:52

No, true, but I suppose the show doesn't realize that's what they've done either. So, from the show's perspective, at this moment they are supposed to be the couples that's meant to be together, like they are supposed to be the Derrick and Meredith that Addison, you know, was kind of talking about last week. They are Derrick and Meredith, they are meant to be together. They are this like whatever couple. So, yes, I know what you're saying, but in the story of the show it is like well, I guess Meredith's. The thing Meredith has to do is accept I was about to say accept Derrick's terms and conditions, but it feels like that it does. It feels like that because he's pretty much laid it out so clearly exactly what he needs from a partner, what he needs Meredith to bring to the table.

Speaker 1: 10:49

And that's fair. Again, I'm not disagreeing with Derrick. It's like we said last episode. Meredith, you know, said you just want to be with Rose because she wants the same things that you do, and it's like, well, yes, I haven't stopped thinking about it. I'm still like this is this is dumb. Of course that is the answer and they are his terms and conditions, and every time that you start dating someone, you have the discussion about your terms and conditions.

Speaker 2: 11:21

The fine print. You gotta read the fine print.

Speaker 1: 11:23

Gotta read the fine print. Like, what's my fine print? There has to be somewhere in my household that is specifically for dumping my shit when I get home from work. Okay, I just have pile of trash. That's just where my things go when I get home.

Speaker 2: 11:42

So in your fine print, that's in your fine print and in your terms and conditions, is they have to be okay with it? Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 1: 11:50

I've tried everything, but I need a dumping area. Fair, what's your fine print?

Speaker 2: 11:59

My fine print is I am a terrible cook and I always forget to buy dishwasher tablets at the supermarket.

Speaker 1: 12:17

Yeah, so that's their responsibility.

Speaker 2: 12:20

Well, no, you just have to like accept that I'm going to probably forget it. You just have to tell me, tell me again and again. I forget stuff all the time. Okay, okay, terms and conditions. I mean, we know Jonah Hill's terms and conditions. Don't hang out with the women from your recent wild past, jesus. Sorry, I know it, we don't normally talk about current pop culture news on this podcast, but holy shit.

Speaker 1: 12:49

Holy shit, weaponizing therapy terms.

Speaker 2: 12:54

Yeah, yeah, therapy speak so gross, yeah. Anyway, sorry, this is not yet so gross. I was just someone else who has some terms and conditions out in the public spirit.

Speaker 1: 13:05

No, they are not terms and conditions.

Speaker 2: 13:07

No, they're not Sorry. No, they're not terms and conditions.

Speaker 1: 13:13

The reason my Meredith is so involved in therapy today is because, as Tamsen said, we are on our fifth patient in a clinical trial. Every other four has not been successful, but today we have Darren.

Speaker 2: 13:32

Dr Wyatt is our therapist name Catherine Wyatt Excellent.

Speaker 1: 13:35

Catherine, wyatt, love Catherine. But Darren is coming in today. He is a soldier who has survived two tours in Afghanistan and he's in the hospital today to treat his brain tumor with his father, and his dad calls Todd and Todd. I just want to hold him.

Speaker 2: 14:03

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 14:05

Because he just wants to be there for Darren and Darren's so scared of his father finding out that he loves another man.

Speaker 2: 14:17

This is so heartbreaking. This whole don't ask, don't tell in the US Army is really heartbreaking, but I think it is really important that they put this in this show to show that this is still happening. Yep, this isn't this is you know? This is still happening. This like homophobic fear that I don't know, that I don't even understand. I mean, I know it's just pure homophobia, but I don't understand what they're. I don't understand why.

Speaker 1: 14:54

It's because men are afraid that gay men are going to treat them the way that they treat women.

Speaker 2: 15:05

Yeah, right, okay, then yeah.

Speaker 1: 15:12

Because a man being in a room full of women will think he's in heaven and a woman being in a room full of men will think she's in hell, she's in danger. So straight men in a room full of gay men will assume that they're in a lot of danger of sexual assault, sexual harassment, rape, name calling just lots of unpleasant stuff. So in the army, how scary is it if a man is forced to sleep in a room with a gay man and think about all the things that nasty gay man would do. The only reason that they have that thought is because if they had unabridged access to women, what would they do?

Speaker 2: 15:58

Wow, You've really broken that down and that is so much worse Like it's so disgusting.

Speaker 1: 16:13

Oh, it's hilarious. This isn't my organic thought. This is something that I've seen on TikTok, and the first man I saw explain it the responses on his videos from straight men were like oh, but you don't understand. I had a bad interaction with a gay man once and now I'm scared of them. And it was like, oh my God, yes, like they're agreeing with the point and they've just gone so far in the other direction that they don't see how that applies to women.

Speaker 2: 16:44

Okay, okay, holy shit.

Speaker 1: 16:46

Yeah, cool. So that's why that happens in the Army and it's fucked. And I'm so happy as well that not only did they show a gay couple and they showed a gay couple that's so in love and that kiss was, it was hot and it was emotional and it was a deep, but they're also soldiers who, for all of American history, have been the quote unquote manliest men and, at the same token, gay men are seen as not manly in the same culture.

Speaker 2: 17:18

Yeah, I do think it's great that they put these, this, this beautiful, tender, sweet, romantic, soft gay couple on screen. That isn't effeminate, oh, I think. Like not leaning into this correct this stereotype of what gay can look like in so many other TV shows and media, I think is just really great and just another reason why Grace is so good, but also Well actually it's a the.

Speaker 1: 17:57

When you talk about the stereotype, do you remember in season one when Webber's best friend was the gay stereotype? Yeah, he was flamboyant, he was effeminate and he was also hitting on George in a way that made George uncomfortable. These two are polar opposite to that and I there is diversity in in every aspect of life and I agree. I'm so glad that they showed it in these two. But oh my God, when he wouldn't go to him in the corridor.

Speaker 2: 18:33

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 18:34

No.

Speaker 2: 18:35

It's a heartbreaking patient storyline. It's heartbreaking. What I think I do want to talk about now, because what the show has also done really in a really fun maybe not fun in an interesting way I don't know what we're just what the show did.

Speaker 2: 18:57

No no, I'm about to say something that makes me very uncomfortable, I know, I know I was trying to do a segue and I'm so bad at them that should be in my fine print like terrible at segues, segues, basically, storyline wise. Today we have this, this exploration of this idea of the don't don't ask, don't tell policy, and then we have it mirrored and reflected in the hospital's brand new date and tell policy. That is going on because, horrifically, in so many ways, everything about this is so wrong. The hospital needs to know who everybody is sleeping with. Because it all started out, because the nurses have all banded together and boycotted working with Mark, because, in Bailey's words, he is a whore, he is a man whore and he's never going to change and they don't want to work with him anymore. I guess, fair enough, kind of I don't disagree.

Speaker 1: 20:05

I don't disagree. Like Bailey gives this speech right Because all of Mark's surgeries have been cancelled because none of these nurses want to work with him and they've gotten their union rep, which is Adele very excited to see her back and HR in to go through.

Speaker 2: 20:23

Adele, just let me say, gets to say the line I'm not just a housewife anymore and like good on you.

Speaker 1: 20:32

Yeah, she also gets to say the line I don't need money, I have 50% of everything that you make. Yes, bitch, yes, adele. But what Bailey says to Mark I think is relevant. It's about personal accountability. Yeah, because she says to these nurses you knew who he was, you knew who he was, you knew that he'd already slept with your friends. I'm sure the first nurse that he slept with didn't, maybe the second, maybe the third, but once it got to the 10th, honey, you all knew. And are you boycotting him because he didn't call you back Like, yeah, that's absolutely shitty behavior, but we've all slept with Mark.

Speaker 2: 21:19

And she also says, like Mark tells it how it is, like he's a whore and he will tell you so himself. Like he's not pretending to be anything that he's not. He's not leading anyone on, no, I also. I really like that Bailey does this whole speech to all the nurses and to Mark and it's. It's not slut-shaming, no, it's not. Yeah, I think they've done this really well. It's also funny, like it keeps the humor up. The way Bailey does her speeches and the way that you know she, her cadence in her voice and the way that she always does her little Bailey monologues is is kept up in this speech and that kind of adds to the humor of it because, because of just who she is, she's the perfect person to be doing this and it's, yeah, I actually like the. So let's all close our knees because I don't I?

Speaker 2: 22:22

there's something really churchy, gospely about the way that she says it. It's like the end of a prayer or something, and I find it funny.

Speaker 1: 22:34

Oh, so if everyone can please close your eyes, bow your heads and recite after me yes.

Speaker 2: 22:40

It's more. I don't think it's like let's close our legs forever. I think it's more like that's the end of my speech. Let's go.

Speaker 1: 22:48

No, I feel you, I'm closing the book, but like she's not wrong. No, yeah, I don't think he did ever lead anyone on. I think if this conversation was being had about Derek, different story. If this conversation was being had about Alex, I don't know, he was pretty cut and dry with Lexi. So let's get on to the Kiss and Tell form.

Speaker 2: 23:15

Date and tell, but I like Kiss and Tell.

Speaker 1: 23:18

Basically, hr has said look, this is going to be a hospital wide thing. Everyone in the hospital has to declare not who they are currently sleeping with, but everybody they have had relations with. And I love data entry. But I do not think that I would enjoy this document. But also part of me is like I would know all of the gossip.

Speaker 2: 23:38

Oh, yeah, oh yeah, yes, thank you. It's that awkward thing of like. Well, obviously, you want to be the person that gets to find out all this information, but also, in a way, to stop harassment. This feels like harassment. Yes.

Speaker 1: 23:56

It does. Yeah, weber, the guy from HR, and Adele are all in this room and because Adele's there, weber is desperately trying to prove to his wife, his ex-wife, that he's changed the way he does. That is by pulling in George to be his chief's intern. And I've got to say George is just being taken advantage of and disrespected by everyone in positions of power. He really should have moved to Mercy West two seasons ago.

Speaker 2: 24:33

It's so bad. This is Weber taking George out of actually doing anything surgical and forcing him to confront everyone in the hospital about their sexual history and having to do it like they're writing down who they've slept with on forms and then handing it to him.

Speaker 1: 24:57

I don't think Survey Monkey existed back then. I just but also, it's not OK. It's not OK and the way he has to do it Like what a couple of episodes ago he spent a whole day out of surgery discussing relationship between Tucker and Bailey.

Speaker 2: 25:16

He keeps getting pulled out of learning no to do stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with his job.

Speaker 1: 25:25

And you're suddenly like oh, I now understand why he didn't pass his internship exam. Oh man, Maybe this is why, but his job today is to give this form to everyone in the hospital, and the first person we see him give it to is Rose, who says but what level of intimacy. And we find out that Rose and Derek haven't slept together yet.

Speaker 2: 25:51

So I'm just going to say like this is definitely a product of its time, but in an episode where they are really trying to not be homophobic, this feels homophobic to me and I know and I do feel like it is just a time thing. But I think we would kind of be remiss not to point that out, because I know the whole gag. The whole storyline here is them trying to figure out if Rose and Derek have slept together. That's kind of the big question for viewers and for our interns and residents. But for the conversation to end up being like George saying well, we don't care about anything except like the end, what does he say? So it's like the main thing or the end goal or something.

Speaker 1: 26:40

Yeah, home base or something yeah.

Speaker 2: 26:43

Which is like penetrative sex, because it's kind of alluding to anything else not being relevant, which just means that if you're in a same sex relationship, potentially there are things that you would consider sex that this form isn't considering sex, which feels really unfair because there's so many other ways for someone, because it's all coming down to, in the end of the day, the reason why HR needs to know this is so it can protect people from feeling violated, assaulted, sexually abused, sexually harassed, and there are so many levels of sexual harassment that aren't sex. So I think the form is bad.

Speaker 1: 27:33

Well, kind of like what Mark says to Rose. I would consider sexual harassment when he says I hate you.

Speaker 2: 27:41

He says I hate you.

Speaker 1: 27:45

Yeah. And in response to her saying talking about sex in this way is not good guy behavior, because it's not, it is sexual harassment. And then he basically bullies her into sleeping with.

Speaker 2: 27:58

Derek.

Speaker 1: 27:59

With Derek, yeah, and Weber is doing the exact same fucking thing to Bailey by excluding her from this form.

Speaker 2: 28:08

Totally, completely.

Speaker 1: 28:11

This whole episode is just not okay.

Speaker 2: 28:14

The fact that George has to say it's so confusing because it's like this episode is trying to be, like we want to stop sexual harassment happening in this workplace whilst harassing everybody in the workplace to get there. I also just want to say when I was saying before about the form being homophobic, it's also the fact like it's not even just that the form needs to have. If this form was going to work, you're going to have to write down every consensual act, because even in heterosexual relationships, harassment can happen on any level, which is, I guess, what we're saying I just feel like I missed saying that before and I don't want people to think that I agree.

Speaker 2: 29:03

It's a. It's all around a bad idea. It's a bad idea. It's a bad idea.

Speaker 1: 29:10

I think if you're having relations with anybody, sure it can be stated who you had relations with, and that can be anything from Anything that's non-plotonic and professional, I think should be on the form Any person that you've had relations with that's not platonic or professional, sure, but also I don't know, it's awful, it's awful, the form's awful.

Speaker 2: 29:35

The form can go in the bin. The form can go in the bin because then it also.

Speaker 1: 29:41

It forces people like Bailey and Christina into these situations where they're both being forced to walk into a room in front of a panel of people who, frankly, have no business discussing their sexual life and having to defend themselves. Defend, yeah. So, bailey, having to stand there and say that the idea that I could have a sexual encounter is a joke to you, that you would single me out as the one person in this hospital who couldn't interest a person of the opposite sex, I don't want to say that to my fucking boss?

Speaker 2: 30:20

Absolutely not. And what do you think? Because that's purely it's stated that that has purely come from Weber, Correct? So Weber has said to George Bailey is the only person completely exempt, and one, it's harassment. Two, it's like he is putting her on this pedestal. It's like he is saying she is so.

Speaker 1: 30:48

Virtuous and chaste.

Speaker 2: 30:49

Yeah, yeah. Even so, like even at the end of the episode after Bailey does Picks up for Mark and does the whole close your knees thing, mark, the way Mark talks about Bailey.

Speaker 1: 31:06

Oh, what does he say? He says the most refined.

Speaker 2: 31:10

Yeah, he says the most refined, professional, ladylike doctor in this hospital came to my defense tonight and the best she could say was he's a whore, refined, professional and ladylike.

Speaker 1: 31:25

So women that have sex aren't refined professional or ladylike, it's interesting, isn't it?

Speaker 2: 31:32

It's just I can't quite. I can't put my finger on it, but it doesn't sit right with me.

Speaker 1: 31:42

It's saying that they are, there's a line in the sand. It's kind of like them calling saying that Rose is a lady and that she's waiting. Same vibe, it's Madonna and whore, complex Totally. That's what it is and it's gross.

Speaker 2: 32:04

It's gross because he's saying that like, okay, so he slept with Callie today. She's not professional, she's not ladylike, she's not refined.

Speaker 1: 32:20

Is it also a reflection on him that the women that couldn't possibly, that wouldn't sleep with him are the only ones that he has respect for, which just shows him as a horrible fucking person?

Speaker 2: 32:39

No, I don't think so. I don't think so because he does respect Callie. Do you think he respects Han? Oh, that's interesting, I don't know.

Speaker 1: 32:51

Is it respectful to constantly step over a boundary that someone's made with you?

Speaker 2: 32:58

No, that's exactly that's the thing, because it's like he respects her in a way that he respects her talent and her professionalism and her surgical skill, but he doesn't respect the fact that she's said no so many times.

Speaker 1: 33:15

You can't. So the answer is no, that he doesn't respect her. He respects part of someone and be disrespectful for the rest. The answer is no. He only respects women who he does not find attractive or does not see as a sexual object.

Speaker 2: 33:32

There's a lot to ponder here, isn't there?

Speaker 1: 33:34

There is. There's a lot to ponder. The fact that Derek kisses and tells about Rose.

Speaker 2: 33:42

The fact that Rose has to come back to George in front of everyone and be like I think I'll have one of those forms after all. It's like so uncomfortable. Yeah, I hate the form. I hate the form. I hate the form.

Speaker 1: 34:02

I hate the form.

Speaker 2: 34:04

I hate Imagine. Can you imagine having to feel? Can you? I can't? Oh man, there are some times in my life where I'm glad there was no form.

Speaker 1: 34:16

Okay, so my brain was doing the exact same maths. I was like I would have been fired from some places.

Speaker 2: 34:25

I was fired from some places.

Speaker 1: 34:28

But what about? Like there were people that I slept with before I worked with them?

Speaker 2: 34:34

I think that's fun. Oh, but then you were. Then you would have had to fill out the form, because that's almost almost the Christina Burke with opposite.

Speaker 1: 34:44

The Christina Burke thing is fucking rough. So this morning the first thing we see is Weber pinning a flyer to the notice board. Yep, bailey approaches and says oh, how do you think Christina feels? So we know it's about Burke, but we don't know what it is yet, until our residents are crowded around and they're covering it up because Burke has won a Harper Avery Award for the work that Christina did. And Christina is shell shocked. She's, she's cold, she can't compute almost, and just the most terrifying form of angry that you can be, and that's silent angry.

Speaker 2: 35:34

Totally. She's so despondent, she's out of her body, she's completely in her head. It's like she's I was going to say seen a ghost, but it's more than that. It's like she's being hugged by five ghosts. Is that the opposite? Is that more than seeing one?

Speaker 1: 35:57

Well, she is down in the morgue today because during rounds she's just not listening and answers. You can either play along and come into my incredible heart transplant which, honestly, rewatching this, is wild. I remember this case being bigger than it was, but Christina opts to go down to the morgue and, silently in her own head, harvest hearts.

Speaker 2: 36:26

I think that's really do. You know, I actually applaud her for listening to what she needs in that moment and not fully going into surgery and distracting herself Like she's letting herself be in her space, in her thoughts, in her brain. This is another moment where we see, I mean you know, back to the kind of theme of this episode, of this reality fantasy, not being able to get out of her own head. I mean, christina's in her own head today, but I think, in the opposite way of Meredith being in her own head, I think Christina needs to be there. I think Christina needs to process this and needs to feel these feelings, whereas Meredith being in her own head thinking about Derek's tongue, is distracting her from doing what she needs to do and distracting her from their reality, whereas Christina has been, has learned, has, you know, has been thwarted by this reality and needs space and needs to be in her own head to process it.

Speaker 1: 37:26

Yeah, Well, she'd also be a danger to any patient that she had being so distracted as well, so I'm going to give her props for that.

Speaker 2: 37:35

Yeah, I think it's really good of her to take herself out of this surgery today and then she's down in the morgue and we get just one of the most beautiful scenes. Lexi has come down. She's very Lexi about it. She wants to help, she wants to be there. What can I do? What can I do? How can I help? I heard about Dr Burke. I heard about the thing Blah, blah, blah, have lots of questions. I'm going to be really peppy and really Lexi and really cheer you up and, oh man, I am Lexi, I feel so I think we all have a little bit of Lexi in us.

Speaker 1: 38:12

We just want to try and make people feel better.

Speaker 2: 38:14

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 38:18

Christina can't be distracted. She doesn't need anyone else right now.

Speaker 2: 38:25

No.

Speaker 1: 38:26

She just needs some time and Madonna.

Speaker 2: 38:30

And Madonna To shut Lexi up. She just starts singing Like a virgin Touched for the very first time.

Speaker 1: 38:47

But do you remember Kira Marshall's heart transplant, this storyline being more than like a C storyline at best? And how were your COVID flashbacks? Oh yeah, so she needs a heart transplant. There's something wrong with her immune system.

Speaker 2: 39:09

There is I mean and she's in a bubble. There is another bubble storyline later, that's bigger potentially.

Speaker 1: 39:20

I just I, you remember her Her she's this got me right in the COVIDs.

Speaker 2: 39:25

Yeah, she's her breaking down that she hasn't touched another human for eight weeks it's heartbreaking Eight weeks inside that bubble, like everyone would start to lose their mind a little bit. Everyone would be feeling this. Everyone would be breaking down.

Speaker 1: 39:46

That that's such a small place to be in.

Speaker 2: 39:50

Think about how her internal monologue, her internal world, would be just rampant with dark thoughts. It would be so hard for her to escape that and get into the reality, especially without being able to yet touch another human or be close to another human, Like with a physical barrier between you and her family, which is kind of you know her reality, probably her grout, like something that grounds her.

Speaker 1: 40:18

It is so important for humans to be around other humans and to touch other humans Like if, if, if. If babies and infants aren't held and touched enough, it will stunt their growth. Hmm, the human touch and interaction is that important to us? We are pack animals and I think COVID was a little itty bitty taste of what it's like to not be with other people for a lot of us. But going to these sorts of extremes are just unbearable. I can't imagine it. It's my worst nightmare.

Speaker 1: 41:04

Yeah, yeah, it's yeah, During her story today she starts coding and Alex has to break the bubble. Now, this story came on today because she finally got a heart and they were going to do the transplant get out of the bubble. But all of our doctors had to be tested before treating her because they can't risk infection. Unfortunately, Alex did not pass the cut. He broke the infection barrier. But what it meant was same as my gluten theory. If I have a little bit of gluten, I should probably not eat anymore, but instead I go. Haha, it's doughnut time.

Speaker 2: 41:49

It's like breaking the seal when you're drinking, correct? No, we used to club yeah Clubs. You'd be like don't break the seal, don't break the seal.

Speaker 1: 41:56

Yeah, the seal was broken, and it's Kira's doughnut time In the clubs?

Speaker 2: 42:01

Who do? I think I am saying that that's not me. You remember when we were?

Speaker 1: 42:05

out in the club. My friend posted up that she was at like a bang reunion. It's like an emo hardcore metal nightclub reunion last night and I was like fuck, why didn't you tell me I would have come? And it's like nah bitch, you're still bedridden and you're also an old lady and the idea of going out to something that starts at 10 pm is just terrifying. Can we go to clubs that like kick off at eight and get really busy by 10, so you're home by like 12 31? I'd be swell. I miss dancing. I just miss dancing. I just miss dancing.

Speaker 2: 42:42

Actually sorry, this is a great anatomy related, but I have been dancing it out in my bedroom and in my kitchen so much lately and I haven't done it in a long time and I highly recommend.

Speaker 1: 42:55

It's been really nice I could move that much. I would.

Speaker 2: 42:59

Well, when you better, when I'm better, I would love it if you guys out there are dancing it out. Can you please let me know? Tag me, show me Dance it out with me.

Speaker 1: 43:08

It's so good to regulate your systems.

Speaker 2: 43:13

Oh my gosh, can we, when you're better, can we have a zoom?

Speaker 1: 43:16

dance it out party with everyone else, but we're dancing in the same like we can all just be everyone's dancing.

Speaker 2: 43:23

We'll just have one computer, like mine or yours or something, playing the music and everyone can just turn the laptops on loud and we all just dance in our own houses, solo, in our kitchens under one condition.

Speaker 1: 43:35

Under one condition, you cannot put a single song from the single long episode of crazy. But yeah, everyone, if you can send us in your favorite song from the Grey's Anatomy Universe, let's have a dance it out party.

Speaker 2: 43:53

It'll be a lot of Tegan and Sarah. It'll be so nice, just full of Tegan and Sarah.

Speaker 1: 44:00

We haven't really mentioned Alex much. He was looking after Kira, but he he's got some plans today. Yeah, and he wants easy to help.

Speaker 2: 44:11

Alex is another really good example of someone that stuck in this fantasy world, in this spiral inside his own thoughts today and not able to deal with the reality he doesn't know. He's in a fantasy world, no, but he is still not able to really fully grasp the reality. He's not able to talk to anyone about it. He thinks he's kind of got it under control, but is he is trying to help and get him to think about stuff? Is he is kind of, you know, being the therapist in this situation being like what about? What about? What about? He doesn't want to hear it.

Speaker 1: 44:54

No, he's. He's made decisions. He's going to be the father that he wasn't.

Speaker 2: 44:58

Rebecca's going to move in to Meredith's house.

Speaker 1: 45:02

Yep.

Speaker 2: 45:02

He wants easy help to ask Meredith if she can move in for a while, and he doesn't even want to think about the fact that Rebecca has another kid. No, he'll figure it out later.

Speaker 1: 45:19

And he thinks that is he's not happy for him and that he can't do this and that he's going to be a bad father. She must have told no, she can't get a hold of Ava. So the thing is she hasn't told.

Speaker 2: 45:36

Ava, that Ava is not pregnant.

Speaker 2: 45:41

Alex is doing this thing that so many of us do, where we assume what someone else is thinking, we assume the way an argument is going to play out, we assume that someone already has made up a decision in their mind, or we assume we know what they're going to do next. And I do this all the time. I'm very, very guilty of it, but it's something that I try and catch myself doing. If I already in the same way of Alex, being like he doesn't want to talk to Izzy about it because he's assuming that Izzy thinks he's going to be a bad father and that's why she wants to talk to him, but that's not the case at all. He has made that narrative up in his head. You can't it's really hard to do, but you really, really can't assume someone else's reasoning, can't assume someone else's thoughts.

Speaker 1: 46:33

It's like you can't hold yourself responsible for somebody else's happiness by assuming that you're the cause of their upset.

Speaker 2: 46:45

Yeah, it's really hard. It's a hard lesson to learn, it's a really hard pattern to break, but this is just a really good example of what I think is happening thematically in this episode today.

Speaker 1: 46:59

It's also happening with Callie and Han today as well. Yep, han'swell. Han assumes she didn't get the heart bravery because she doesn't have a penis and it's a boys club and like look, she's probably not wrong.

Speaker 2: 47:14

Yeah, but Han is also. I'm sure there's elements of that, for sure.

Speaker 1: 47:18

Yep, she's also assumingthings about Callie. She is assuming that Callie is a person who gets all kooky when they get a boyfriend and they disappear because Han doesn't make friends easily. She's awkward and bad at small talk, and I don't like people. I don't know.

Speaker 2: 47:42

Join the club, Erica. Join the club.

Speaker 1: 47:45

That is untrue. You've worked in hospitality far too long that you are really good at small talk and can make anyone like you. For at least the first 20 minutes I say I'm charming. For at least 20 minutes, it's about as long as I've got.

Speaker 1: 47:59

Before it all turns off yeah, she says all of this to Callie when the scrum brooming. You can tell that she's really hurt because, like Christina and Meredith, she picks her people really carefully and isn't vulnerable and she said it to Mark a while ago that she is very much church in state when it comes to her working life. Her professional personality and her real personality are very separate and she's let Callie in and she's feeling super hurt that this person that she thought she could trust and be with has ditched her for some dumb boy.

Speaker 2: 48:41

Yeah, I mean, we all have that friend that disappears when they're in a relationship and isn't able to juggle friendships and relationships that well, and that, I guess, is exactly what Han is assuming.

Speaker 2: 49:00

And it's until he has is really, really needing to vent about Preston. Han and Preston we I mean, we found this out quite a while ago now so we can recap it but these two have been like a similar age, have been surgeons in the field for the same amount of time. But didn't they go to school together? They studied together, they went to part of medical school together, and now that they are both heart surgeons top of their game, kind of in the same position, they are kind of like arch rivals in a way.

Speaker 2: 49:35

And that all came to a head with Denny's heart, with Denny's heart surgery, because Erica's patient had that heart, burke's patient needed that heart, was getting a different heart at the same time, and it all resulted in the two of them. There were two hearts at the same hospital. There were two hearts at the same hospital. Then the two of them were fighting over one heart and that all came to a head and that all blew up and obviously didn't end well. So Preston winning this award not only has completely shaken Christina today, but it's also completely shaken Han.

Speaker 1: 50:20

I think it's quite unfortunate that the very first time that Han tries to empathize with Christina, when they're waiting for the new heart to arrive, saying I can't imagine how you must feel that he didn't mention you and that his arrogance is legendary, christina can't take it in, she can't say anything, and we know why by the end of this episode because it's the same as Bailey with Addison last week If she says something, it's all going to come out. But you're right, han is super hurt because someone that she is a rival with, who she knows firsthand, has been helped throughout all of his professional career, wins this award, and she would have had to have fought much harder to be acknowledged for.

Speaker 2: 51:16

Yeah, I mean, she even says that she's written more papers, she's done more research, she's Correct.

Speaker 1: 51:22

And her friend, her only friend at this hospital, is suddenly ghosting her. That's rough, that's a bad day.

Speaker 2: 51:30

It's a bad bad day. So she actually wants to bond. Today. She's just bonded with Christina and Christina's just really not having it, and then she needs Callie. So they do end up going out. They head out to Jo's and Callie finally explains herself, which I think is really important. She says look, it all happened with Addison. When Addison came to visit last week she did mention that she thought we were a couple. We had some laugh, and then we have just the most awkward laugh. They laugh too much. Yep. So that's kind of you know. We leave that on a sexy little cliffhanger because maybe these two are going to need forms someday.

Speaker 1: 52:24

We do get this episode, a Christina monologue.

Speaker 2: 52:27

Yeah, christina's been really silent all day. She knows herself as building up in her head and going around and swimming around and she's been thinking about every single thing she went through with Burke and she's been singing like a virgin to dead guys and that's a way to put it.

Speaker 2: 52:48

And then she's called into a meeting with HR and Adele and the chief because she didn't fill out her form and she's told pretty, pretty brutally like you need to fill this out. Even though he's not here anymore, if anything happens, we are still liable to be honest, someone else could have filled it out for her.

Speaker 1: 53:10

That's what I it's like save the girl how hard, is it? Yeah Well, especially for the fact that, like Weber is the one who put that notice up and he knew that it was going to have an effect on Christina, oh, he's just double downing on her today.

Speaker 2: 53:30

No just oh, it's awful, but but what we do get is such an incredible, incredible Christina's Beach. She says it's simple. Burke is not here, he is gone and he is better for it. He's winning the Harper Avery Award and being celebrated all over the world. That is not difficult. He's out there and I'm here, where everything is the same, which is also just quickly a little call back to last week's themes, with Addison Trying to see if the hospital is the same.

Speaker 1: 54:00

Everything is the same.

Speaker 2: 54:02

Yeah, so she says, where everything is the same. I still live in his apartment. I walk the same halls of this hospital. I wear the same scrubs. Even that is not difficult. This is where I am, this is where I choose to be. But, sir, when his hand was shaking, I performed his surgeries, I kept his secrets, I nursed his pride. You know it, I know it and he knows it. But yet nowhere in that newspaper article does my name appear. I am the unseen hand to his brilliance and yet, while everything is the same, it is very, very different. Now I am lucky if I get to hold a clamp. Han treats me like I was his hand, and now I am a ghost. That is not difficult, it's unbearable. I know everybody is proud of him, but I am not and I do not wish him well.

Speaker 1: 54:54

If Weber doesn't stand the fuck up and force Han to start actually teaching Christina because Bailey knows Han knows, kali knows everyone has seen the way that Han is treating Christina If Weber doesn't stand up and do something, actually, if HR doesn't fucking stand up and say something. I can't believe she said all of this in front of HR actually.

Speaker 2: 55:17

That's my next point. It's pretty incredible that, like I'm sitting here a little bit short, she is saying that in front of HR, but also in this situation in front of HR, like she can't get into trouble for that. This is all on.

Speaker 1: 55:30

Burke, it's all on Weber, like if I just wanted the camera to pan to HR and turn around and be like excuse me, why is this the first that I am hearing of this? I want to see that meeting with HR, adele and Weber after she walks out of the room so badly.

Speaker 2: 55:49

Yeah, it's wild. It is wild Like even thinking about that now. That whole storyline. It's so mind blowing that Christina has gone through all of this.

Speaker 1: 56:00

And is now getting bullied in her workplace and being accused of using sexual favors to get ahead, when the work that she did just won a Harper Avery. Oh my gosh, speaking of this episode, sucks.

Speaker 2: 56:14

Speaking of incredibly wild, unprofessional things, mark and Kelly just being naked.

Speaker 1: 56:26

And Bailey's just Mark. I need another nurse. I'll get nurse Kate Kelly. Can we have nurse Kate?

Speaker 2: 56:38

I know that we see them go into the encore room all the time. Everyone uses the encore room. There's lots of sex that happens in this show. We know that. But like it's gotten to the point where they're both so blasé about opening that door and there's that frosted glass that makes it very clear that they are naked. Like Mark opens that door and there is so much skin.

Speaker 1: 57:03

Tucker, tucker. Tucker is at knee level, yeah, and he can see straight through that door. Gap Tucker's Anatomy, lesson 101. Well, on that note, thank you all so much for listening. I had a really good time this episode. I hope you did, tamsin, and I hope everyone listening did. Please hit us up on Instagram or at our Discord at scalpelsinterkiller and let us know what songs you would like to dance it out to. We will do all the rest of the planning. We just need a little bit of help with the playlist.

Speaker 2: 57:44

Thank you so much, and we've been getting some really beautiful reviews from you all. So if you feel like leaving us a review, leaving us five stars, it all helps, otherwise, just any shares. Tell a friend we love you. Thank you so much for listening to us and we'll be back with you next week.

Speaker 1: 58:01

See you soon. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.

Speaker 2: 58:17

Bye, bye.